TII - This is Italy

If you've ever seen the movie Blood Diamond with Leonardo DiCaprio there is a classic line in there that Sean and I adopted. In the movie, set in Africa, absurd and crazy things would happen and Leonardo's character would say, "TIA, this is Africa", since there was no other way to explain what was going on. So, on more than one occasion, Sean and I would say to each other "TII, this is Italy" and try to laugh about it. Car rental #2 was one of these occasions.

Italy operates on their own cultural clock. One I am deeply envious of but also a clock that makes me appreciate not having to actually live there.

The standard Italian citizen works 32 hours a week. So, Monday through Friday, business starts approximately 8:30AM. At about 12:30 most businesses close and the restaurants open. The businesses are closed until 3pm to allow time for pasta, wine, and napping. You go back to work until about six and then start dinner between 7:30 and 8pm. Even most retail businesses with the exception of restaurants are closed by 1 or 2pm on Saturdays and few things (including restaurants) are open on Sundays. Did I mention the 5 weeks, at least, of vacation a year? (BTW, 5 weeks is standard in all of Europe.) A great place for spending time with family but not so great if you actually want to be able to shop on the weekend or do any business.

So, here's where the car rental comes in...

After leaving Cinque Terre we were taking the train to Milan to meet my mom and Evan at the airport and then driving to Florence. The train arrived at the Milan train station at 1:50Pm. My mom and Evan's flight arrived at the airport at 3:15pm. Milan Bergamo airport is approximately 45 minutes out of Milan city center. So, we figured we would pick up the car in the city center instead of at the airport since we weren't sure how to get from the train station to the airport.

We called the Hertz rental line in Italy. Here's how it went:

Ring, Ring, (Voicemail system picks up, some introduction in Italian)
"For English, Press 2". I press 2. I get 3 minutes of options in Italian. Operator picks up.
Operator: "Buon Giorno."
Me: "Parla Inglese??"
Operator: (Pause) Yes.
Me: "I'm picking my car up at Milan Bergamo and I would like to change it to City Center. My reservation number is..."
Operator: "That's fine. Here's your new reservation number. Wait, I put in the wrong pickup location. Here's a new reservation number...Oh, I just noticed that the City Center location closes at 2pm on Saturday and you are supposed to be there 10 minutes before close."
Me: "But my train doesn't get in until 1:50."
Operator: "Maybe someone at the office can wait a few minutes for you. You will have to call them. Let me get you the new reservation number (Italian cell phone mysteriously disconnects the line and says the system is busy...)..."

Ring, Ring, (Voicemail system picks up, some introduction in Italian)
"For English, Press 2". I press 2. I get 3 minutes of options in Italian. Operator picks up.
Operator: "Buon Giorno."
Me: "Parla Inglese?"
Operator: "Um, a little.."
Me: "I was speaking with someone and got disconnected..."
Operator interrupts: "Let me transfer you to one of my English speaking counterparts."
(To make things clear: I pressed #2 both times)
Operator Number 3: "Hello"
Me: "I got disconnected from another operator."
Operator Number 3, who sounded like they were actually an English native interrupts and does not ask the problem but immediately transfers me back to Operator 1's line which is not surprisingly busy. I listen to busy signal for 5 minutes. I hang up in frustration.

Sean calls Avis in Milan.
Operator: "Buon Giorno"
Sean: "Parla Inglese?"
Operator: "Yes. Hold 1 minute."
Five minutes later.
Operator: "You have to call back in an hour."
Sean: "Wait! What time do you close Saturdays??"
Operator: "2pm"

Sean calls back Hertz.
Finally gets an operator who finds the new reservation number. Explains the situation. He gets the number for the City Center office, calls them and explains our situation.
Sean: "Can someone stay a few minutes later for us?"
Operator: "No! You must get your car from another office!"

I call back Hertz
Me: "Hi. I would like to change my reservation back to it's original pickup location..."

We find a bus from the train station to the airport and are luckily only a few minutes late. TII.